The best and the worst of it
The worst of it - the dying to myself, the pulverizing affect of not having "my" life or "a" life.
The best of it - the dying, the smell of my flesh burning and the knowing that to God it is a fragrant offering, and a sweet smell of life - resurrection life!!
and I am seeing signs of that life in me and in others around me and I sense new growth and stretching and changes and strength in me.
On my retreat in January God spoke a number of meaningful, even profound things.
First He assured me (and us) of His committment to pour out His abundant GRACE. Grace that is sufficient (2Cor12.9) and more than enough. He continues to underline that "He is my very present help in times of trouble" (Psa 46.1) and that the "mountain" before me was something I needed to climb!! and sometimes I rejoice in the work out! :-)
In His infinite wisdom and mercy and loving kindness and goodness He hand picked and designed this situation for me, for my good, for my growth to form me and make me complete and whole and mature.
And once again I bow to you Lord and say "not my will but yours be done" and I pray once again from Phil 3.12 Lord, help me to be "that" woman of God that you desired me to be from the foundations of the world. Help me God glorify you in all I do and say, in my service to my mom and family, may you and you alone be glorified!! Amen
and I am "undone" by the love and service, selflessness and care I see in my brothers and sister and their mates towards mom and me and I am humbled by seeing their Christlikeness and my sinful nature and I know God is doing a very needed work in me, and in us. I couldn't do it without them or they me. We need each other and even if it is unspoken, we have new love and appreciation for each other and sweet fellowship as we are in it together. Thanks mom for such a big family!!
The best of it - the dying, the smell of my flesh burning and the knowing that to God it is a fragrant offering, and a sweet smell of life - resurrection life!!
and I am seeing signs of that life in me and in others around me and I sense new growth and stretching and changes and strength in me.
On my retreat in January God spoke a number of meaningful, even profound things.
First He assured me (and us) of His committment to pour out His abundant GRACE. Grace that is sufficient (2Cor12.9) and more than enough. He continues to underline that "He is my very present help in times of trouble" (Psa 46.1) and that the "mountain" before me was something I needed to climb!! and sometimes I rejoice in the work out! :-)
In His infinite wisdom and mercy and loving kindness and goodness He hand picked and designed this situation for me, for my good, for my growth to form me and make me complete and whole and mature.
And once again I bow to you Lord and say "not my will but yours be done" and I pray once again from Phil 3.12 Lord, help me to be "that" woman of God that you desired me to be from the foundations of the world. Help me God glorify you in all I do and say, in my service to my mom and family, may you and you alone be glorified!! Amen
and I am "undone" by the love and service, selflessness and care I see in my brothers and sister and their mates towards mom and me and I am humbled by seeing their Christlikeness and my sinful nature and I know God is doing a very needed work in me, and in us. I couldn't do it without them or they me. We need each other and even if it is unspoken, we have new love and appreciation for each other and sweet fellowship as we are in it together. Thanks mom for such a big family!!
Comments
Maybe we can coordinate a starbucks time-- I'll go to one in Paris next week & you in Johnstown? :) lukumuwu. Tam